50 Ways the World Might End for Humans
Not in any specific order and avoiding all religious endings
- People evolve into cats.
- People evolve into dogs.
- Overpopulation due to the sex-crazed teenagers catalyzed by the boy bands of the late 80s, 90s, and early 00s.
- Car pollution.
- Cow farts.
- Guy Fieri farts.
- The atmosphere dissolves.
- Someone in the control room presses CTRL + ALT + DELETE.
- The Cubs win the World Series.
- People find out JFK is still alive.
- Fast food restaurants start serving school lunches.
- One giant solar flare.
- The biggest Black Friday event ever.
- The internet goes down.
- All of the Earth’s resources dry up.
- North Korea and Russia form an alliance.
- The Matrix auto-updates and some of the apps aren’t compatible.
- A federalized Police force is implemented in America.
- Black hole(s).
- A supervolcano erupts.
- All of the booze runs out.
- All of the coffee runs out.
- All of the pizza runs out.
- All of the oxygen runs out.
- We merge with cartoon land.*
- The dinosaurs come back as zombies.
- Asteroids, Meteoroids, and hemorrhoids.
- Geomagnetic reversal.
- Game ray bursts from a supernova explosion.
- The Sun explodes.
- Alien invasion, baby.
- Robots surpass human intelligence, become self-aware and deems us obsolete.
- The souls of the dead come back and haunt everyone into insanity.
- Biological warfare.
- Nuclear annihilation.
- Earth is unveiled as Dr. John Calhoun’s mouse utopia.
- Donald Trump becomes president.
- Hillary Clinton becomes president.
- All of the gas stations blow up at the exact same time.
- Everyone flushes their toilets at the exact same time.
- Every insect alive teams up to eat all the humans.
- The clock strikes midnight.
- The fat lady sings.
- Earth’s original inhabitants return from their very long but very overdue vacation.
- The earth stops spinning.
Thanks for reading, have a nice day!
* Best possible scenario.
** The end is probably already here, and heaven actually owns Comcast and Costco and Apple and Google and Amazon, and we are all totally fucked 🙂