50 Ways the World Might End for Humans

Not in any specific order and avoiding all religious endings

  1. Drones.**
  2. People evolve into cats.
  3. People evolve into dogs.
  4. Overpopulation due to the sex-crazed teenagers catalyzed by the boy bands of the late 80s, 90s, and early 00s.
  5. Car pollution.
  6. Cow farts.
  7. Guy Fieri farts.
  8. The atmosphere dissolves.
  9. Someone in the control room presses CTRL + ALT + DELETE.
  10. The Cubs win the World Series.
  11. People find out JFK is still alive.
  12. Fast food restaurants start serving school lunches.
  13. One giant solar flare.
  14. The biggest Black Friday event ever.
  15. The internet goes down.
  16. All of the Earth’s resources dry up.
  17. North Korea and Russia form an alliance.
  18. The Matrix auto-updates and some of the apps aren’t compatible.
  19. A federalized Police force is implemented in America.
  20. Black hole(s).
  21. Blueshift.
  22. A supervolcano erupts.
  23. All of the booze runs out.
  24. All of the coffee runs out.
  25. All of the pizza runs out.
  26. All of the oxygen runs out.
  27. We merge with cartoon land.*
  28. Tsunamis.
  29. Hurricanes.
  30. The dinosaurs come back as zombies.
  31. Asteroids, Meteoroids, and hemorrhoids.
  32. Geomagnetic reversal.
  33. Game ray bursts from a supernova explosion.
  34. The Sun explodes.
  35. Alien invasion, baby.
  36. Robots surpass human intelligence, become self-aware and deems us obsolete.
  37. The souls of the dead come back and haunt everyone into insanity.
  38. Biological warfare.
  39. Nuclear annihilation.
  40. WWIII.
  41. Earth is unveiled as Dr. John Calhoun’s mouse utopia.
  42. Donald Trump becomes president.
  43. Hillary Clinton becomes president.
  44. All of the gas stations blow up at the exact same time.
  45. Everyone flushes their toilets at the exact same time.
  46. Every insect alive teams up to eat all the humans.
  47. The clock strikes midnight.
  48. The fat lady sings.
  49. Earth’s original inhabitants return from their very long but very overdue vacation.
  50. The earth stops spinning.

Thanks for reading, have a nice day!

* Best possible scenario.
** The end is probably already here, and heaven actually owns Comcast and Costco and Apple and Google and Amazon, and we are all totally fucked 🙂

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