Writing

Subway aint so bad

Alrighty. When I lived on a farm outside Chicago, I remotely worked on a web project that required some in-depth paperwork to get started. One of those documents declared I was a U.S. citizen and it had to be notarized before I could begin my work. The notary clerk was at a bank five miles…

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50 Ways the World Might End for Humans

Not in any specific order and avoiding all religious endings Drones.** People evolve into cats. People evolve into dogs. Overpopulation due to the sex-crazed teenagers catalyzed by the boy bands of the late 80s, 90s, and early 00s. Car pollution. Cow farts. Guy Fieri farts. The atmosphere dissolves. Someone in the control room presses CTRL…

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None The Wiser

Dear Budweiser, Hello, I hope you’re well. I’m writing to you regarding your slogan “King of Beers” and the comments that follow come from both a concerned beer drinker and a proud American citizen. It is something that has been both troubling and weighing on me for quite some time, so please bear with me…

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Creepy Coffee

There I sat in the coffee shop of a rundown town, hanging on like a tooth dangling from its gum. Only a few other establishments were still in existence. At the counter, my only friend was a never-ending cup of coffee. I sometimes found myself there for about 10 to 15 hours a day. That…

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Applesauce

Ingredients 8 to 12 apples (peeled and cored) Directions Peel and core the apples. Chop the apples into small 1/4 inch cubes. Place the apples in a large pot. Cook on medium-low for 10 min, stirring occasionally. Place the lid on the pot to build up extra moisture. Once you’ve developed a nice amount liquid…

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English Muffins

Three really short stories about English muffins. Story 1 Like an old family member, I reminisce on your crunchy and mushy textures. Laying down small pads of butter to carefully indulge each nook and cranny. With my age, I desire much more cinnamon in my cinnamon sugar mixture. Its woody dry flavor creates a perfect…

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